Roads To Where Again?

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." I forget who said it but it is a profound statement.

And if this statement is true, I have built myself one heck of a road in that downward direction. Being truthful with others, raw and honestly, breaking my own Truth Policy, and the resulting actions from such has shown me this road I've labored over. It is as I said before, what I was afraid of when it comes to the truth.

It has smacked me in the back of the head to fall face first onto the hot stones of a path thought of as well walked and advised from. The hardest part I think is fear of being unable to leave the path. Does me trying to not give advice and trying to not offer my though of good intentions mean I get to leave it? Or does that just make me a horrible person for not being able to help anyone else when they need it and my words are perhaps valid but I don't want to speak up for fear of acquiring more stones to build further? Complicated, I know.

The ironic part I suppose is that there is no counter argument to this good intentions = hell road thing. There is no road to Heaven being paved with bad intentions, or redeemed actions, or whatever is supposed to be the opposite to that statement. How the hell are you supposed to know how to fix what you've done to get off that damn road to hell if you can't find a counter argument? I suppose that means you don't.

I'll accept that. I have a long road and now I'll take responsibility for it and hope to salvage all the things I've let get ruined because of it. After all, I don't have a degree or anything that qualifies me to dispense what I think it good knowledge and fact. Just good opinion. Which is only good in my opinion, which is not the best or the right answer. I'm just a slightly artsy geek with anxiety issues. I should stick to what I know. Facts and emotions are different, not something you can treat the same as I often do.

The broken things left to the sides of the roads? I can't force those to be fixed, and in reality I think I don't have a choice in the matter. I can hope they'll fix and hope they'll still find a favor in me, I can try to be better myself for them...but I can't force. Square pegs do not fit in round holes unless you cut the corners and I'm not going to grab the axe to cut those corners.

Sometimes being yourself all the time puts you on roads that alienate you from everything else you think you have. If you don't learn to give, then you or something else is going to break. What is the best thing to break? Yourself or everything you're trying to keep around? Answer that truthfully, and you'll know what's best to do despite whatever path you've created.

PS. Happy Valentines Day and thanks to you know who for the introspection.